Spare me your corporate bull!

Life got in the way so blogging was put off to the side for a few.

So here goes, another stupid moment in my life..I’m not really trying to be a man basher , just exploiting the facts.

Exhibit A, you meet a man with a prestigious profession, he has the perfect body, dreamy eyes and perfect life. He is older, carries himself well in the public eye and should be everything that you wanted? NOT.  Behind closed doors, this man becomes this douche-bag that tries to shove his tongue down your throat every second he gets! On top of it, every other word that comes out of his mouth is  an attempt to get you in bed which is not only disgusting but disrespectful ! Can you say thirsty?

I mean seriously do you think talking dirty to a woman, is going to get you brownie points? I’m sorry but my idea of a good time, does not consist of a man inviting me over to his house, telling me he is going to shower me with his manliness (trying to keep it G rated), and not even have dinner and wine waiting? This is a prime example of not judging a book by its cover! Just because a man makes a six figure income, does not mean he knows how to treat a lady well. Come to think of it, many of these white collar men that I have met, in my eyes, need to F^&% off!Just because you have the fancy car, fancy job, and are dubbed as a powerful man at the office does not mean you can shove your corporate bullshit down my throat! I just don’t get it?! Did they teach a man to be a douche bag in grad school? or did things change when the money started to flow and they became invincible!

No wonder I am attracted to the starving musicians and artists, the ones that have the passion behind them. Although they don’t have the money to take to you to an elaborate restaurant they are humble. They will admit to not having time for you, but will make an effort, you hear from them because they want to see you, not need to see you! The will make due with what they have and whip an awesome meal, from their bachelour pad and pop in a great movie! Not to mention they are passionate lovers and great cuddlers!

Blame Hollywood

After having a Romantic Comedy marathon and watching movies such as Woman on Top,  No Reservations, and Greys Anatomy all in the same day, I was left wanting a man who had a P.h.d in relationships. That Superman who serenades you to sleep, makes you smile when you are down,  inspires  you to pursue your dreams, and can whip up a 3 course meal even after coming home from a 10 hour surgery without even breaking a sweat.

Ahh Hollywood I blame you for my singleness! I blame you for painting this fairy tale image of what women are supposed to look for in a man! You have painted this image of what kind of man a girl is supposed to like! A Dr. Manhattan of some sort who is tall, very well muscled, super intelligent and has unlimited powers  including the ability to easily manipulate matter (you) to his liking. Well ladies I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if this Dr Manhattan  that Hollywood speaks of exists, and  we continue to seek this him out we will loose touch with ourselves! We will loose touch of the very  fundamentals of  ourselves and get lost in the theory of him.

Speaking from experience, this Hollywood man    is too consumed with the logical and doesn’t tend to get emotional. He will be short lived,  mess with your mind and leave you high and dry when a better offer comes along.

“Human affairs cannot be my concern. I’m leaving this galaxy for one less complicated.” Dr Manhattan.

Hmm sound familiar ?

I love me!

I am tired of trying to “fit in” to please society. I am tired of doing things that I would not normally do to please you! I am tired of trying to  make him love me when the reality is that I must  love myself !

I love me, what more could there be, a love for myself that super-cedes all. A love for myself that has taught me to appreciate the beauty in me. That has taught me to weed out the negative and focus on the positive of me .

I love me!

There once was a time when I was consumed by him , the thought of him, the feeling of him. Yes I admit it, I was in love with the idea of him .  An idea that was forced upon me by you! Television, Media , Hollywood, Friends, Family …Why is it that a woman must be with a man to be happy. Why does she have to  have that ring around her finger or be in a relationship before she turns the ripe age of 30 , to be normal.  Why are we teaching our daughters that in order to be happy we have to find our prince charming , live in his castle and be his trophy wife?

One of  many trophies that is displayed on his mantle  (for a limited time only) collecting dust until he is ready to polish us with his sometimes personality . A  personality that we have become a prisoner of, one that we have forced ourselves to believe in although the truth was painted abstractly  the very first day.

The very first day we met him we knew he was An Andalusian Dog”, and we were playing the  main role in this surrealist film that he liked to call his life. A Dali like film that is disjointed, jumping from the initial “once upon a time” to “eight years later” without the events or characters changing very much. Why are women  just going through the motions to appease you society!  In choosing to please you, we are living a dream that we eventually have to wake up from.

Well, I am awake and an choosing not to accept  mediocrity and get caught up  in the theory of him ! I am choosing to love myself , accept the single life and  be my own happy ending.

Thanks ANGIE ZAMUDIO for teaching me to do me!

FALSE ADVERTISING

What is it with people trying to sell themselves now a days?

It seems as if the guy next to you is too concerned about wooing you with materialistic riches,  false promises , a fast car or simply is trying to sell you  this image that he thinks he needs to conform to.  It has come to the point that each guy that I am meeting, weather it be in a local bar, club, or even at the work place has this rehearsed speech that sounds similar to that of a used car salesman.  You know the one, where he is  trying to put his best foot forward and tells you everything you want to hear so that he can make it to first base. He is selling you that one of a kind car , with the flawless exterior and jacked up interior.

An interior that will eventually be exposed on the second or third date that leaves you with false hope, another number in your phone book and no with the question of  what just happened.  Is it me, is it them.. Why even bother selling me that car if I cant even test drive it? Whats up with the False advertising?!

So from now on I shall be called Ms. Manhatten I am tired of Earth, I am tired of these people and their inability to see reason. Where have all the good people gone when will they ever learn? Is it too much to ask for a “real” man or woman?

Just when I think I met the guy of my dreams who fits my physical and intellectual needs, swoosh, he is gone!   I guess what I am trying to say is BE REAL, BE HONEST..BE YOU!

GREAT  another puzzle to be solved…..

Stepping up to the plate!

Superwoman?

A little while ago a person once told me that I was a “tough girl” a super woman of some sorts who could annihilate any obstacle that stood in her way . I began to think wow what a great quality! But after last months events I began realize that I am nothing more than a mere mortal. A mortal who has a heart, feelings, and soul !

Maybe this blog is a little “out there”  but after sharing a couple of beers with a friend and discussing the politics of comics, I could not help but compare life to a comic.   A  romantic comedy with an array of plots and characters that thrust me into  the most messed up predicaments.  I began to fill my thoughts with self-doubt, often wondering if  I created my own drama. Was is it me, is it them? Did I do something wrong, did i act or say the wrong thing?  Is this what the dating world is like? Should a relationship serious or non, be dramatic, confusing, hurtful, and passionate at the same time?

I don’t know if its because I am growing older, a result of the economy, or a shift in the universe but it seems as if relationships are not what they used to be. Casual sex/ friends with benefits has replaced the very fundamentals of what a relationship used to be and has sucked the life out of them. We have  become more accustomed to this fast way of life and preoccupy our time with disposable men and women.

So, here is my comic like analogy. You put your relationship wall up and vow to never fall in love again. You promise to take life for whats its worth, including relationships and focus on the philosophy of ” doing you”.  You put your big girl panties on and walk into corporate and social America with your game face on ready to take on any challenge that stands in your way. You do good for the most part until,  find him ,your Kryptonite ,whom I will now dub Mr. Wolverine.The anti-hero with the sharp retractable claws who was able to break down your wall effortlessly. The man who bounces back from any type of relationship trauma and suppresses his human like characteristics including emotions. (wow I am too much into comics !) The bad boy!

Who is he and where did he come from? Worse yet how did he break down your invisible force field and aim straight for you heart?  Although I am over it, and my Wolverine has left the building , I could not help but think to myself how do strong independent women allow this gruff loner take a hold of our hearts?  When was it cool to lock Prince Charming up and put this mutant in his place? Lastly how do we take our lives back?

Relationships and food!

I am now taking requests for blog material. So one of my friends asked me to write a blog  a while back about relationships and food . Initially I saw this as a challenge and could not relate to the subject  or even form a connection between the two, not until now that is.  Not until I was part of a love triangle that I could not comprehend.

Relationships are like food! Hmm His analogy was interesting why do men, or even women that have a 3 course meal  in front of them every night of the week opt for that occasional slice or two or three of pizza ?

When we are we getting all the the nutrients and vitamins in a meal we  still  stray from the diet?  Do we really want to see whats on the other side? To curve our junk food craving? I really cant answer this this, and as I was eating my medley of fruit, deciding on weather to eat the grape or the pineapple, I thought for one second that  perhaps we  as humans are not are wired to stick with one type of cuisine. We were given  taste buds for a reason  an sometimes we simply get bored with the same type of meal 7 days a week. Its OK to do the healthy thing and get in all your fruits and veggies but reality is, sometimes we want to add a little hot salsa to the mix and spice things up. Food like relationships should be full of flavor and be savored from the first bite to the last rather than predictable and bland.

So is the real question , is it wrong to want to take an occasional bite into that slice of pizza, sushi, or Prime Rib or opt to stay on this strict diet of monogamy?

So here it is my friend a blog in your honor, I wish I could answer this but I cant

Cubs vs Cougars

As you can tell by the picture this is not a baseball blog and if that was what you wanted to read MOVE ON! For those of you that don’t know me, I blog about my relationship questions, men, boys, life, emotions etc..And I call it STUCK ON STUPID- Stupid is an adjective, it describes  person, place, or time in your life where you morally know what to do but because of your emotions are too blinded to do so..Now back to the blog..

Stupid question?!

OK So I know I am not a spring chicken but then again I am not an old hen. I am a 29- year old single mom who takes pride in her outer and inner beauty.  I work out 5 days a week, drink my 8 glasses of water a day and eat all my fruits and Veggies. As a result of this , I think I look good and feel even better! As a result of this,I don’t know if I am emitting some sort of pheromones, or aura  but lately I have been attracting younger men, and when I mean young I am talking 18-22 range.

Which leads me to this post, how young is too young? I know this is a new century where discrimination and biases cease to exist! NOT! All BS aside, I know any people have mixed feelings about this , but how young is too young? Yes the old Cougar vs Cub argument or Kitten vs Cougar.Whatever you like to call it, older women with young men, I know that many people have mixed feelings about this such as age does not matter, but the level of maturity and experience does.There are others that think that there should be a line that is drawn when it comes down to age.  I know what my thoughts are on this but was wondering what  my invisible fans on the WORLD WIDE WEB thought?

So hypothetically speaking , if I were to pay attention to these advances, would I be dubbed a cougar? Even though I am not the one doing the hunting? Why is it that I attract all these younger men?  And is this morally wrong? Even though men have been doing it for many many moons.

Def of Cougar:

An attractive woman in her 30’s or 40’s who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc

Let me reiterate the fact that I am not the one doing the hunting. I do not go out to these night clubs, bars beachers etc. You will often find me at driven and focused at the task at hand ; be it the gym-squatting, at home -writing, at work-working or spending quality time with my children.. I dont have the time or energy to really hunt for men, they find me. OMG am I a M.I.L.F? lol

Men being abused??!!?!

While I was doing my crunches at the gym today, I happened to glimpse at the the TV and the topic on some morning talk show was Men Being abused.  I jumped off my bouncy ball and my ears and eyes perked up with interest.Anyone who knows me knows why this is a sensitive subject and exactly why I am blogging about this.

Domestic Violence ; that elephant in the room that exists yet everyone is ashamed and  afraid to talk about it. NOT until now that is! Not until a celebrity hits another celebrity is when people actually start taking interest in the subject! Now its news worthy..So back to that show, some idiot scholar on the show with his magical research went on to discuss his messed up hypothesis that women are the culprits behind most of the violence. If I am not mistaken, his exact words were that 70 percent of women provoke these DV occurrences. Wow he has numbers to prove it. Then he went on to state that men  are also being abused in relationships yet they are too ashamed to admit it. O OK Ill give him that im sure a woman hitting a man desmasculates him, but i mean come on Women provoking a DV occurrence..That’s a crock of SHIT. If we believe his hypothesis then we would be admitting that men are heathens that are not capable of controlling themselves and lack the brain power to take control of their emotions. Just because a person upsets you, does deem you to be GOD, and allow you to punish a person!  Shit if that true in my life, do you know how many people I would love to beat down?! I work in customer service I deal with idiots that provoke me everyday! DO  you see me on the news pulling out a can of whup ass!

As the show continued this man continued to put his foot in his mouth and  and  following his 70 percent of women statement, these words came out of his mouth. “Don’t get me wrong, no one deserves to get abused but the reality is that many men are being provoked into hitting a woman! WOW! I had to take a minute and remind myself that we are in 2009 and the the fucking 1890’s!

They might as well have titled the segment Women who speak up, deserve an ass  whupping!

I’m sure there are some crazy women out there that do hit their men, but I am going to have to disagree with this idiot. Women are biologically made smaller than men, we do not have testosterone and muscles even if I was Little miss Bad ass and wanted to beat my man, chances are, he would have me on the ground in 0.0 seconds. I am not saying women are better than men, I am just disagreeing with the statement that women provoke men. GOD or whomever gave us brains lets use them!!!

I’m sure that this topic is being explored because of  “alleged” Chris Brown and Rhianna incident making headlines but I  mean come on Men being abused? I’m sorry I don’t buy it! First off, it is sad to say that the only reason that this is making the news is because a celebrity battered another celebrity big F’n deal! There are thousands if not millions of women being battered and killed everyday and do you hear about these  women? Don’t get me wrong, my heart goes out to Rhianna and I DO KNOW how she feels but what urks me is how the media is using this topic as material for their talk shows!   COME ON PEOPLE!

ok off to work im sure i will edit this soon!

Dontdatehimgirl.com

In honor of the flick he is just not that into you and Valentines Day I wanted to share a website that I came across last year and visit quite often,Dontdatehimgirl.com. I know what many women may be thinking, a website that tells you not to date a man? Please, Let me make that decision on my own !

Allow me to explain myself, when my friend first told me of that website, I looked it, read a couple of posts on some men that I dated, dismissed what it said and walked right into a burning room. (and then I wonder why I get hurt?)   So  here I am a year later, going through the same shit kicking myself in the ass for not listening to another woman’s advice including my own about a guy that I was seeing off and on for the past year .(The guy who inspired this post, stuck on stupid) I know that now all men are the same, and not all men are douche bags but there are those few that ruin it for the good guys and continue to do so as long as they are allowed to.

As soon as I finished updating a post on dontdatehimgirl.com, about a friend/lover who I recently found out (by  unconventional means) that he has three other friends/lovers at the same time,  who obviously do not know about each other, I thought that I should warn other women about this serial player.  Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with a man who has an active lifestyle, but what bothers me is  the fact that he lies about it, and makes these women believe they are the only one.  THAT I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH . As you can tell I am a little upset, especially since I was honest with this “friend” with benefits. Despite our numerous talks about not being able to be in a relationship  there was always a connection between us, a connection that is hard to explain.  Although we dubbed it  a friendship ,we enjoyed each others company both in and out of the bedroom,had deep conversations about the past , present, and future . I can’t explain what it was that we had, but in my eyes it was more than that , his actions were different from the words that came out of his mouth. Does a friend call you pet names like baby? Does a friend make love to you andd? Does a friend cuddle after sex? Does a friend sometimes slip and mention the possibility of a future together?

I cant explain the connection that we had, but for some reason we were drawn to each other time after time. We knew that we sucked at the whole relationship thing , but we both knew that we liked having each other in our lives. Despite my strong feelings for him, I would tell him if I was dating others, etc. It was hard but  I was honest.  I mean who wants to tell the man that you thought you  were in love with that you were dating other men, and the only reason that you are doing this is because he wont commit to you.

I guess that’s what separates the men from the boys, a man is someone who is able to tell the truth and let a woman know where she stands from day one instead of sugar coating shit. I wish I could let  all the other women with broken hearts out there know that unity in numbers is key!!!  Lets promote this site to warn at least one woman who encounters this douche bag to move onward and forward.  Like the saying goes, not all that glitters is gold,

So getting back to my unconventional way of finding out about these women, what should I do with this information that I have in my hands? Should I warn at least one of these women about her Prince Charming? Or let it go?

I know that all men are not the same, and I wish many more women knew about this site because unfortunately there are a lot of douche bags out there.

I have figured out the hard way that you cant trust every one , second chances are not always a good idea, and some people will never change. What you see is not necessarily what you get. If I could warn at least one woman about one of  the losers that is out there than I have at least done my job.