The right one???

OK so I know this blog will probably not make sense. I was  so upset that my fingers were not able to type in conjunction with my thoughts.

After eating dinner with yet …another male friend in my life,  we began to discuss new & old relationships, fresh and stale ones, break- ups a getting back into the dating scene after a heart ache. Ahhh jumping back on the saddle of love!

He began to tell  how much the dating scene sucks and how sick and tired he was of meeting the wrong kind of woman. (Sounds familiar!) As he continued to tell me about his dating disasters, ie… the older woman who is a  jealous , overbearing -materialistic psycho , or the young hot woman who knows that her biological clock is ticking yet does not have the brains to even tell time, I began to compare his experiences to mine.   As I asked him questions such as what he was looking for in a partner , and what his ideal woman or relationship is, his response was  at he was not looking for any type, but simply looking for “the  right one”. The right one?

Uh oh Pandora’s box has opened. The right one? What exactly does that mean? Do we as human beings have a predetermined image or idea of who the right woman or man is for us? Does this mean that he or she has to fit a certain physical characteristic, have the brains of Einstein, is career driven or homeward bound. What exactly does this mean? You can tell he struck a nerve in me. He laughed as I began to spit off these questions above. Well how do you know?

You just know. he said….

How do you just know? How do you know that it is love and not lust, that your friendship should be more..that he or she is the one you want to spend the rest of you life with?

Great another unwritten rule in this crazy game of love…. A game that I am tired of trying figure out.

Lets see what determines him or her being the right one? The Yin and Yang of love…When we find that one person who meets all our physical expectations but not our emotional ones is he the right one? When we find the one who is financially stable yet is down and out in the sexual attraction category is he the one? Or how about the one who keeps your interest intellectually, romantically and  emotionally yet does not want to commit to you, is he the one?

So basically according to his theory there is a man or woman out there for you, the “right one”, you just cant seek him out, or have an image of him,  and you just need to have faith and believe that you will find each other.So great now faith  is playing a game with my life and heart? ! I do believe that things will work out in the end, but I do find it hard to believe that faith is  holding my prince charming for ransom until it is ready to relinquish him?

How about this one, you have the right one in the palm of your hands but because you are unsure of what it is you are looking for, or  because of your preconceived ideas of what the right one is, you throw him or her away to only realize years later he or she was the one ?

My point to all this rambling is,maybe he is right, maybe we should go with our gut feeling and stop seeking perfection..If it feels right then, just go with it..

When god winks on love, and hes just not that into you because of your female brain?n

Like many women out there, I am trying to figure out the great mysteries of life and unfortunately a big component of this is  love,  relationships, & men. Its sad to admit this but many of us spend countless amount of hours, days, or even months infatuated, infuriated , disappointed or simply trying to figure out men.  We spend half of our time wasting brain cells in trying to over-analyze, psychoanalyze, or simply trying to decode many of the  signs that he is or is not giving us. Based on our research we then decide if we should or should not be happy. I think that all this unnecessary research is  a recipe for disaster, or ending up in an insane asylum.

In order to maintain my sanity, I  began to buy many relationship books including Hes just not that into you, Its called a break up because its broken, the Female Brain and… When God Winks on Love. After all that reading I can honestly say that I am even more confused than when  I first started.

The female brain, states that we are emotional creatures, and that women are wired differently than men, we are more nurturing, emotional,etc etc..Well duh!

He;s Just not that into you, basically gives you the signs when a man is not into you…

“Its called a break up because its broken”, reminds you why he is a jerk and why you should move on!

And my latest disappointment,

When god Winks on Love…

Excerpt:

You are destined to have a soul mate, if you have faith in the outcome, the picture of love you have in your mind can be yours, so trust and learn to read the God Wink is a persona signal or message directly from a higher power, usually , but not always,in the form of a coincidence.. Squire Rushnell

The book goes on to give examples of God winks in peoples lives and and how if we would only pay attention to these Winks we would be living happily ever after..

OK are you kidding me..I have to admit, sometimes I get up in wanting to  believe that true love is on the other side of the rainbow and that the Unicorns will lead me to my Prince Charming. But come on seriously GOD WINKS? If I were to sit here and listen to all these signals that the invisible man from above is or is not  sending me..I would be in a whole lot of trouble!

Being a writer myself, I am not bashing the author of the book , it was edited quite well! I do  believe that there is some truth behind it,  that there are certain circumstances, situations, or whatever you may call it that may lead you on a path towards a certain person, place, or thing but ultimately in my opinion it is  you who you decide who you end up with. But come on! A God Wink?!

I guess what I am trying to say women, is that there is no book, person, or thing that can help you find your perfect relationship or man or life. Its called “life” because you are living..You are bound to get hurt, make logical and illogical decisions, mistakes, and endure a whole lot of  tears, pain, and heartache. If you sit there and read about it and not be about it, you could be missing out on someone or something incredible. Weather he makes you happy for that one month, year, or a life time at least you are experiencing something.

You will never know what you want or who you want if you are too afraid to jump into the water!

Ok venting done!