Cubs vs Cougars

As you can tell by the picture this is not a baseball blog and if that was what you wanted to read MOVE ON! For those of you that don’t know me, I blog about my relationship questions, men, boys, life, emotions etc..And I call it STUCK ON STUPID- Stupid is an adjective, it describes  person, place, or time in your life where you morally know what to do but because of your emotions are too blinded to do so..Now back to the blog..

Stupid question?!

OK So I know I am not a spring chicken but then again I am not an old hen. I am a 29- year old single mom who takes pride in her outer and inner beauty.  I work out 5 days a week, drink my 8 glasses of water a day and eat all my fruits and Veggies. As a result of this , I think I look good and feel even better! As a result of this,I don’t know if I am emitting some sort of pheromones, or aura  but lately I have been attracting younger men, and when I mean young I am talking 18-22 range.

Which leads me to this post, how young is too young? I know this is a new century where discrimination and biases cease to exist! NOT! All BS aside, I know any people have mixed feelings about this , but how young is too young? Yes the old Cougar vs Cub argument or Kitten vs Cougar.Whatever you like to call it, older women with young men, I know that many people have mixed feelings about this such as age does not matter, but the level of maturity and experience does.There are others that think that there should be a line that is drawn when it comes down to age.  I know what my thoughts are on this but was wondering what  my invisible fans on the WORLD WIDE WEB thought?

So hypothetically speaking , if I were to pay attention to these advances, would I be dubbed a cougar? Even though I am not the one doing the hunting? Why is it that I attract all these younger men?  And is this morally wrong? Even though men have been doing it for many many moons.

Def of Cougar:

An attractive woman in her 30’s or 40’s who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc

Let me reiterate the fact that I am not the one doing the hunting. I do not go out to these night clubs, bars beachers etc. You will often find me at driven and focused at the task at hand ; be it the gym-squatting, at home -writing, at work-working or spending quality time with my children.. I dont have the time or energy to really hunt for men, they find me. OMG am I a M.I.L.F? lol

Men being abused??!!?!

While I was doing my crunches at the gym today, I happened to glimpse at the the TV and the topic on some morning talk show was Men Being abused.  I jumped off my bouncy ball and my ears and eyes perked up with interest.Anyone who knows me knows why this is a sensitive subject and exactly why I am blogging about this.

Domestic Violence ; that elephant in the room that exists yet everyone is ashamed and  afraid to talk about it. NOT until now that is! Not until a celebrity hits another celebrity is when people actually start taking interest in the subject! Now its news worthy..So back to that show, some idiot scholar on the show with his magical research went on to discuss his messed up hypothesis that women are the culprits behind most of the violence. If I am not mistaken, his exact words were that 70 percent of women provoke these DV occurrences. Wow he has numbers to prove it. Then he went on to state that men  are also being abused in relationships yet they are too ashamed to admit it. O OK Ill give him that im sure a woman hitting a man desmasculates him, but i mean come on Women provoking a DV occurrence..That’s a crock of SHIT. If we believe his hypothesis then we would be admitting that men are heathens that are not capable of controlling themselves and lack the brain power to take control of their emotions. Just because a person upsets you, does deem you to be GOD, and allow you to punish a person!  Shit if that true in my life, do you know how many people I would love to beat down?! I work in customer service I deal with idiots that provoke me everyday! DO  you see me on the news pulling out a can of whup ass!

As the show continued this man continued to put his foot in his mouth and  and  following his 70 percent of women statement, these words came out of his mouth. “Don’t get me wrong, no one deserves to get abused but the reality is that many men are being provoked into hitting a woman! WOW! I had to take a minute and remind myself that we are in 2009 and the the fucking 1890’s!

They might as well have titled the segment Women who speak up, deserve an ass  whupping!

I’m sure there are some crazy women out there that do hit their men, but I am going to have to disagree with this idiot. Women are biologically made smaller than men, we do not have testosterone and muscles even if I was Little miss Bad ass and wanted to beat my man, chances are, he would have me on the ground in 0.0 seconds. I am not saying women are better than men, I am just disagreeing with the statement that women provoke men. GOD or whomever gave us brains lets use them!!!

I’m sure that this topic is being explored because of  “alleged” Chris Brown and Rhianna incident making headlines but I  mean come on Men being abused? I’m sorry I don’t buy it! First off, it is sad to say that the only reason that this is making the news is because a celebrity battered another celebrity big F’n deal! There are thousands if not millions of women being battered and killed everyday and do you hear about these  women? Don’t get me wrong, my heart goes out to Rhianna and I DO KNOW how she feels but what urks me is how the media is using this topic as material for their talk shows!   COME ON PEOPLE!

ok off to work im sure i will edit this soon!

Dontdatehimgirl.com

In honor of the flick he is just not that into you and Valentines Day I wanted to share a website that I came across last year and visit quite often,Dontdatehimgirl.com. I know what many women may be thinking, a website that tells you not to date a man? Please, Let me make that decision on my own !

Allow me to explain myself, when my friend first told me of that website, I looked it, read a couple of posts on some men that I dated, dismissed what it said and walked right into a burning room. (and then I wonder why I get hurt?)   So  here I am a year later, going through the same shit kicking myself in the ass for not listening to another woman’s advice including my own about a guy that I was seeing off and on for the past year .(The guy who inspired this post, stuck on stupid) I know that now all men are the same, and not all men are douche bags but there are those few that ruin it for the good guys and continue to do so as long as they are allowed to.

As soon as I finished updating a post on dontdatehimgirl.com, about a friend/lover who I recently found out (by  unconventional means) that he has three other friends/lovers at the same time,  who obviously do not know about each other, I thought that I should warn other women about this serial player.  Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with a man who has an active lifestyle, but what bothers me is  the fact that he lies about it, and makes these women believe they are the only one.  THAT I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH . As you can tell I am a little upset, especially since I was honest with this “friend” with benefits. Despite our numerous talks about not being able to be in a relationship  there was always a connection between us, a connection that is hard to explain.  Although we dubbed it  a friendship ,we enjoyed each others company both in and out of the bedroom,had deep conversations about the past , present, and future . I can’t explain what it was that we had, but in my eyes it was more than that , his actions were different from the words that came out of his mouth. Does a friend call you pet names like baby? Does a friend make love to you andd? Does a friend cuddle after sex? Does a friend sometimes slip and mention the possibility of a future together?

I cant explain the connection that we had, but for some reason we were drawn to each other time after time. We knew that we sucked at the whole relationship thing , but we both knew that we liked having each other in our lives. Despite my strong feelings for him, I would tell him if I was dating others, etc. It was hard but  I was honest.  I mean who wants to tell the man that you thought you  were in love with that you were dating other men, and the only reason that you are doing this is because he wont commit to you.

I guess that’s what separates the men from the boys, a man is someone who is able to tell the truth and let a woman know where she stands from day one instead of sugar coating shit. I wish I could let  all the other women with broken hearts out there know that unity in numbers is key!!!  Lets promote this site to warn at least one woman who encounters this douche bag to move onward and forward.  Like the saying goes, not all that glitters is gold,

So getting back to my unconventional way of finding out about these women, what should I do with this information that I have in my hands? Should I warn at least one of these women about her Prince Charming? Or let it go?

I know that all men are not the same, and I wish many more women knew about this site because unfortunately there are a lot of douche bags out there.

I have figured out the hard way that you cant trust every one , second chances are not always a good idea, and some people will never change. What you see is not necessarily what you get. If I could warn at least one woman about one of  the losers that is out there than I have at least done my job.