New toy vs old toy

So you have been with subject A for the past 6 months and the relationship is something out of a Harlequin Romance Novel. You spend every waking minute and hour with each other, call each other on a daily basis just to hear his or her voice, and not to mention the sex is out of this world. The  butterflies in your stomach seem endless, and you smile each and every time you see them.  You look into his or her eyes deep into their soul and  know that you have found true love.. You cant wait to see each other again while you are still in each others arms, sigh.. But no sooner do you turn the page in your romantic novel do you hit the 6 month trap..

That same book that was painted with pretty pictures and butterflies is now something that could be sitting next to Stephen King or Agatha Christies best sellers. You don’t know what went wrong in the relationship but you know that things are not what they once were. Instead of those random cute texts and romantic nights you find yourself wondering who he or she is with tonight.  You begin to think you did something wrong and are retracing the moments in your relationship to see what went wrong..

The truth is , you did nothing wrong . You have now become a victim of the 6 month itch.  Now this does not apply to everyone and I can only go off my personal experiences but the best analogy that I can go with is a toy. Remember when you got that toy you always wanted for christmas as child?   Well try to remember the feelings associated with it. You were happy, excited and could not wait to play with it! Day after day you played with your new Barbie or Gi-Joe , and could not get enough of it. You were so infatuated with it that you took it in the tub with you, shit you even slept with it! But then, after a while that very same toy grew old. You knew what it looked like, felt like and knew what to expect when you played with it.  It became a monotonous routine and the fact that you could only do so much with it grew tiring.The toy lost its luster, shine and excitement. 

 Well the same goes with a relationship. The first 6 months of it are bliss. Because you are still new to each other the excitement is unbearable! You want to spend time with your partner and are trying desperately to  impress each other that you are putting your best skills forward. Weather it be conversational skills, cooking skills and bedroom skills you are a kung-fu master of the relationship.    You keep this charade up for as long as you can but once you hit that 6 month mark, the relationships looses its shine. You know what to expect when you are together, begin to call each other less, make excuses not to see him or her, and are trying to find the nearest EXIT sign.

So why does this happen? Well it can be one of two reasons. The person that you are with does not know what he or she wants and still wants to play the field, or you simply are not the one.

For whatever reason he or she is backing off and is not ready to settle down with you. They are  looking for that next new toy to play with. It’s not something you did wrong it is just the nature of the game. Now you can do things to make the game go slower or faster but for the most part the end result may be the same. Or you can change the rules..

For starters you can put that toy back in the toy box for a while and give yourself a chance to miss each other. For those of you that have children you know what I am talking about. Once your child gets disinterested in a toy and wants a new one, experts often tell you to take that toy away from your child and hide it for at least a couple of weeks . When you  return that very same toy to your child you will then see the interest in that very same toy rise. That child will also establish a new routine with that toy and play with it differently..  I know that this may be a hard thing to do but if you see your relationship taking a turn for the worse, what is the alternative? If you give yourself a chance to miss your significant other then that shine that turned you on so much in the beginning will eventually come back. You will also bring new excitement to the relationship. I don’t care how good you cook, how intellegent you are or how great you are in bed..Lets face it..We all get bored doing the same old thing..

Another option may be changing the rules of the game. Flip the script on them..or as my girl Angie best said it.. Do them like they do you! I know this may be a childish alternative but believe me once you have the upper hand in the relationship you will have them wondering..Just think of it..Would you rather play a game that you knew you were going to win or would you like a challenging game? If they are calling you less and less do the same. If it takes them a couple of hours  to get back to you then take four hours to get back to them. If they make excuses to not see you and forget that you had  a date tonight..Make yourself unavailable. Pretty soon they will be the ones on the other end wondering what they did wrong. It is always best to leave the other person wondering. Again it isnt about learning how to play a game. but it’s about understanding human nature and behaving accordingly.  A person will always want what he or she cant have..

D..I hope this makes sense…