Planting.

After yet another discussion about relationships with a member of the opposite sex I could not wait to get back to the writing board. This weeks topic “Planting” in a relationship.
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Planting; also known as the time in the relationship when a “person” leaves stuff at a guys or girls house to ward off the rest? Whether it be: a toothbrush, a bra, a scrungee or a pair of shoes,he or she is marking their territory. What ever the object of desire may be, it was left behind to let the next customer served know.. “Hey I was here first!”

Wow ,cough cough, I have to admit I have done it. Not just to say that I did it but i admit it . But to be fair, I have had it done to me. As I was lying there 6 months into the “lets just chill relationship”, I looked over at his night-stand and realized ..”Hey that’s not my lip-gloss, or hey that is not my Victoria’ Secret cream” Can you say OUCH? Sure, it may have stung for a moment but in all fairness, it let me know where I stood in that persons life.

So when does planting become an issue and why do we partake in such a childish act. It also made me think , do men play in that same garden of evil?
I can only look to myself as and example and although I admit to getting my hands all muddy. I must say that my reasons were out of pure laziness. Honestly I don’t really care to mark my territory, I was just too tired of lugging my shit back and forth. I mean really I was at his house almost 2-3xs a week for about 6 months and was playing the wifey role-who wouldn’t. But after I got called out on it from Douche bag MC-T (his name shall remain anonymous) I began to realize what I was doing and immediately stopped. I don’t want to be that woman. The one who feels the need to leave a thing or two in his filthy ass bed-room to feel secure in the relationship. Even if I was doing that, do you honestly think that the next girl who is about to get a piece of that really gives a shit? PROBABLY NOT!

So planting, yay or nay?! Why do we feel the need to do it..

Honestly if you feel the need to plant something, you might want to ask yourself, will that garden ever grow..

Hidden Agenda

” I am so sick of those individuals who have a hidden agenda, particularly men! (Frustrated)

I consider myself to be a diverse woman. I try to be honest, chill, confident, real and blunt all at the same time.  Because of this, I don’t really have female friends. For some reason, I bond with boys. Boys are simple, boys are drama free, boys make me feel comfortable in my own skin. Call me insane, but I like having a friend who can tell me if I look fat in those jeans, if I am over analyzing my new relationship, or if I am being overly emotional. Women, for some reason can not do that, they hold their tounge. But wait there is a catch, boys are boys. It seems like the more that I open up to a ”guy” friend, the more they want from me. They are no longer satisfied with a friendship and want to cross over into unknown territory.  Time after time, I feel like I am loosing my (boy)friends because they want to be more than just friends. I just don’t get it! And what upsets me most is the tactics that they use.

For example guy A and you have been friends for a while, because there is no pressure and you are dubbing this a friendship, you have let your wall down. You have allowed him to get to know the real you. Guy A, slowly inches his way into your life, telling you he is  looking out for your better interest. Advice slowly turns into courting, then jealousy and ultimately hurt.
I just don’t understand why men continue to do this?

As our “boy”friends, we tell you everything that is going on in our heads including they type of man we want, how we like to be in the bed-room, what gives us gas (yep I went there) and when was the last day of our menstrual cycle. Men , do you honestly think we are telling you this because we want to be with you?
Truth is, we want another man (with no expectations) to hear us out. We want to be able to be around a partner of the opposite sex and ask him, hey do I look fat in these jeans?

But 90 percent of the time you go there! You change the whole dynamic of our friendship and turn Friday night Pizza and beer nights to just another lonely day . This scenario is an all too familiar one with me. Is it really impossible for two members of the opposite sex to be friends. And really ,why would you compromise the friendship.
The first thought that comes to mind when this happens is “how dare you”! Friends don’t do that!

What am I trying to say. Boys, please don’t lie! Please don’t pretend that you are our friends when you are sexually interested in us. It’s better to be honest rather than us find out when you are trying to stick your tounge down our throat during our movie night. Once we find out that you had that hidden agenda that friendship will be jeopardized. We will begin to re-play the relationship in our heads and feel violated. Which goes back to the age-old question, Can men and women just be friends?