Let them eat cake!

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I’m sure I’ve written about his topic, lying in a relationship , However this is a different spin, or so I think. Having your cake and eating it too.

Subject A is unhappy in their relationship. Whether they are at the beginning ,middle, or at the end of the “break-up”; you provide them that ear that they so desperately need. They begin to tell you that you are so easy to talk to and are what they want and need in their life. You begin to believe the lines that they feed you, one thing leads to another and 3 months later , you think this is the one and BAM! Three months later you are getting harassing phone calls from the would be ex! Not to mention the one 3-way call where they denied your existence.. You soon begin to realize, you are the cake! 

For whatever reason subject A has decided to NOT END the relationship with the person that makes them miserable but at the same time tries to keep you. Even though it may have seemed real and you may have believed  his or her lies this is nothing but a sticky situation.

You are merely  that “escape”, that optional desert on the menu-not the main course. If you find out that you are the Cake, the best thing to do is STOP ! Stop making yourself readily available for a person who does not know what they want. Stop believing that he or her will leave them because they won’t (not soon anyways).

I don’t care what that person may or may not say if they opt to lie to their so-called partner and their so-called lover, what morals does that person really have?. And why would you want to be that option? That mere fix for his or her sweet tooth. Wouldn’t you want to be the appetizer, main course and desert that they desire?  Believe me I know that this can be a very confusing situation. You believed him or her and no one wants to be made the fool. But if you find yourself in this situation don’t continue being in it.

I  am sure they have given you every excuse in the book.

-I am going to leave them; I just don’t know where to go. (if they are living together)

-They would be devastated if I left them

-I don’t want to hurt anyone

-I am confused

-I care about you but I love them

-We have a house together, (a child, dog, horse, etc…)

-Lets take this slow, I will leave them eventually.

Let’s be friends.

Dont fall victim to these excuses!  If they wanted to be out of the situation they would. If you were a priority, you would not be involved in drama. Either they want you or they don’t .

And YOU stop making excuses,

-They need time

-They need someone to talk to , I can’t leave them

-They will leave their spouse, girlfriend, eventually

-He is a good guy or girl

Really? Because if they were a good person, they would not be lying to both of you. They would close one door before the other one opens. They would not bring pain into 2 people’s lives. He/she wants to have his cake and eat it too. So STOP, STOP making excuses, stop waiting around to see if he or she will leave them. Even if they do! The drama will follow. Can you really trust someone who chose to cheat emotionally or otherwise ? Whose to say that they will not do that do you?

Let them eat cake, but don’t be the cake. Let them ruin their relationship on their own. You don’t need the added calories or drama!

As my new friend best put it. No one likes to hear the cake say that it’s not good for them-but it has to be done.

That is all for now.