Men being abused??!!?!

While I was doing my crunches at the gym today, I happened to glimpse at the the TV and the topic on some morning talk show was Men Being abused.  I jumped off my bouncy ball and my ears and eyes perked up with interest.Anyone who knows me knows why this is a sensitive subject and exactly why I am blogging about this.

Domestic Violence ; that elephant in the room that exists yet everyone is ashamed and  afraid to talk about it. NOT until now that is! Not until a celebrity hits another celebrity is when people actually start taking interest in the subject! Now its news worthy..So back to that show, some idiot scholar on the show with his magical research went on to discuss his messed up hypothesis that women are the culprits behind most of the violence. If I am not mistaken, his exact words were that 70 percent of women provoke these DV occurrences. Wow he has numbers to prove it. Then he went on to state that men  are also being abused in relationships yet they are too ashamed to admit it. O OK Ill give him that im sure a woman hitting a man desmasculates him, but i mean come on Women provoking a DV occurrence..That’s a crock of SHIT. If we believe his hypothesis then we would be admitting that men are heathens that are not capable of controlling themselves and lack the brain power to take control of their emotions. Just because a person upsets you, does deem you to be GOD, and allow you to punish a person!  Shit if that true in my life, do you know how many people I would love to beat down?! I work in customer service I deal with idiots that provoke me everyday! DO  you see me on the news pulling out a can of whup ass!

As the show continued this man continued to put his foot in his mouth and  and  following his 70 percent of women statement, these words came out of his mouth. “Don’t get me wrong, no one deserves to get abused but the reality is that many men are being provoked into hitting a woman! WOW! I had to take a minute and remind myself that we are in 2009 and the the fucking 1890’s!

They might as well have titled the segment Women who speak up, deserve an ass  whupping!

I’m sure there are some crazy women out there that do hit their men, but I am going to have to disagree with this idiot. Women are biologically made smaller than men, we do not have testosterone and muscles even if I was Little miss Bad ass and wanted to beat my man, chances are, he would have me on the ground in 0.0 seconds. I am not saying women are better than men, I am just disagreeing with the statement that women provoke men. GOD or whomever gave us brains lets use them!!!

I’m sure that this topic is being explored because of  “alleged” Chris Brown and Rhianna incident making headlines but I  mean come on Men being abused? I’m sorry I don’t buy it! First off, it is sad to say that the only reason that this is making the news is because a celebrity battered another celebrity big F’n deal! There are thousands if not millions of women being battered and killed everyday and do you hear about these  women? Don’t get me wrong, my heart goes out to Rhianna and I DO KNOW how she feels but what urks me is how the media is using this topic as material for their talk shows!   COME ON PEOPLE!

ok off to work im sure i will edit this soon!

Phone book frenzy

As I was talking to a co-worker the other night, about men, relationships and sex. I literally got hit on by five different men throughout the duration of that conversation! She then told me I can’t take you anywhere now a days can I?

I sat there, laughed it off and told her that although I somewhat like the attention, it can be a little bit bothersome at times ~ I surely do not seek it! She witnessed a little bit of what I endure on a daily basis and was amazed at how many lame and not so lame pick up lines/men I deal with. She then began to ask me how do you do it? I simply responded I am just being me.

The fact that I am enjoying life, and have that care-free attitude, it what lures people to me, i am not afraid to speak my mind, be a goof-ball, and just love me! There was a time in my life when I was full of self doubt, hung my head low had the whole woe is my line down to a “T”. Now that I have let the “real” me come out, the one who love me is when the phone book frenzy began. The countless numbers, many of the names I do not know, some I do no want to know and others are plain out trouble!

Which goes back to my most recent blog women are the new men! I can not help it, I am a social butterfly! Working in such a diverse environment and following my journalism nose, I run across the most interesting people from artists, to chefs, to poets, to writers, to businessmen etc.. I see a potential story in almost everyone I meet and It has become second nature for me to just to give or take an email or number, which eventually turns in to something another name in my phone book that may or may not be looked at!

She then asked me how do you keep all these numbers straight? You are like a guy! And as I was looking over my 300 something numbers, I thought to myself WOW! Maybe I am getting out of control. But am I? I mean guys have been doing this for ages and I am sure other women are doing the same thing but are just too afraid to admit it. Which goes back to the whole she is a slut

Come on women I know I am not the only one who has 6 or more Do not answer’s , (we did not know they would go nuts on us)3 different Tony’s, 2 different bartenders, and a slew of names that we cant even remember for the life of us. I think its pretty awesome that the tables have turned and, women are finally comfortable with collecting numbers and calling men on a need be basis. There is nothing wrong in admitting that! Isn’t that what being single is about?

So yeah rule 2. Phone etiquette!

You get his number, or you give him your number. What is the rule on how long he or you should wait before calling. I have had guys call or text me that same night, ones that wait till the next day , the typical 3-day-rule guy, and those that fall after that time line.

Does the “first” call set the bar for the rest of the relationship? I have found it to be that the one that calls that same day turns out to be a stalker, the one day guy can be a little pushy, the three day guy is a little confused, and the one that calls 4-7 days later is a player and your number probably got lost in the shuffle of women. Depending on my interest in the guy I have to admit I have probably done all of the above, I may text right away to say how nice it was meeting him, I may text 2 days later because I am involved in another mess, and well any time after that, those will be visited at a later time when I am bored. Does this rule exist, is there a calling rule after receiving or giving out a number?

I feel like I ranted with this blog , o WELL!

Either you get it or ..you don’t

As tired as I am, I must write on!

So for the past 3 days, I have not been able to sleep, not because there was anything wrong with me but because my new Viking blood sucking pal has really inspired me to research and write this next post!

For the past 3 days I have been staying up late at night ,talking texting instant messaging and going to sleep and waking up with one thing on my ,mind.HIM.! Yes ladies and gentleman I am smitten!

Now lets not get ahead of ourselves, I am still single! But he really made me wonder what is going on?

I am an avid believer in fate, chance and luck, and lately I have kind of been going with the flow but there is that one person that will hit you across the head with their words, mannerisms thoughts that make you think wow I really could dig “someone like you“. So what is this feeling called? Faith? Luck? Chance ? Chemistry

The fact that I have found myself talking to him till 2 a.m, getting giddy upon hearing his voice, or having a big cheesy smile when he sends me a text, story or pic freaks me out!! Now I don’t want to jinx anything and usually go with the flow ..but there is something, about this one… that really hit me out of left field. Chemistry, between two people what is it? Is it something that can felt instantly or does it transform over time? Is it something that should be felt upon contact, first glance, is it an intellectual attraction or is it something more!

Sure we have all seen a picture of someone and upon glancing at it may lust over someone, but once you pass phase one of musting up the courage, sending them that cheesy pick up line, and attempting to get to know someone, what happens beyond that point , the chemistry,is it truly out of our control? Chemistry is it “a process, or some spontaneous reaction that you either have or you don’t. Is it a matter of mixing the right chemicals, under the right temperature, at the right time or is something that just is.
Im sure we all felt it in high school , chemistry that is, the butterflies in our stomachs, the cheesy smiles upon hearing his or her voice, truly digging him or her! Sure it is acceptable during our grammar school years but when this spills over into the adult world what then? What is that called? Being a wuss? An overgrown dork.

Maybe its just me, or maybe the cosmic world is off whack but I can not remember the last time that I actually felt that chemistry that I described above until now (hence my lack of sleep). The best part is, that there has not been any physical interaction, no forcing of chemicals , it just is. This chemistry is one that is natural one that is being emitted via the phone, text or internet. Am I the only one out there am I being naive am I acting like a child? Is “this” feeling nuts?

I don’t know what it is and maybe just maybe I am not meant to figure it out but all I know is that I like this feeling. The talking to him hours upon end and not getting bored, thinking of him sporatically throughout the day, and actually getting it!

I can only imagine what it would feel like when we meet!

Sex impares judgement?

As my cousins and I sat at the Cubby Bear ,dining on wings and beer we sat there talking, venting, and discussing our past, current, and future relationships or lack thereof. What started out as an innocent conversation ended up in a therapeutic discussion involving sex, self-discovery, and a dose of common sense. We could not help but realize that as 20-something intelligent, educated ,beautiful women we all had the same thing in common! We enjoy being single! As we compared our non- boyfriend boyfriends and boyfriends we came to realize that relationships suck!

I mean as individuals we are strong, independent and educated women but when we find ourselves in relationships we get involved in the thought of him we get “stuck on stupid.” We begin to do things we don’t normally do such as lend “him” money (which he will never repay), lavish him with gifts of all kinds, cook him dinner while we starve, alter our schedules, pamper him in every which way and we forget about us! Why is it that we as women go GAGA over the male species, and it gets worse once intimacy is involved! My cousin commented that in the book The female brain by Louann Brizendine, that after sex, chemicals are released in our brain that impairs our judgement and makes us do things we would not normally do!

So as we sat there comparing Mr wonderful, we all came to the consensus that it is so much easier to be single! Why sit there and allow ourselves to be involved in the wanting to be loved and in love when “man” only sees this as an opportunity to take advantage of our generosity. We don’t need to take that!

Do you guys do this on purpose? and women, does sex impair our judgment and we find ourselves getting “stuck on stupid”? I mean yes there is such thing as a good guy and if he is out there please send him my way.

But he surely not any time soon! I so have to read the female brain!

High Maintenance vs Low Maintenance

So I was out last night and as I looked around the room I realized that I was surrounded by the High-maintenance women. You know the ones, who walk into the room and heads turn, the ones who demand to be the center of attention and are decked out in make-up, bling-bling, and not one dime in her pocket . The ones that don’t pay for anything, and end up on some guys lap in VIP. As I was looking at these girls who had tons of men sweating them to buy them a drink, I walked up to the bar with my cash in hand and bought my own drink. Maybe it is my aura as someone mentioned on another post, but I most definitely am not out to use men and see how many drinks I can get out of them.

I know men say that they don’t like the High maintenance women, but it sure did not look at it last night, or any other night as a matter of fact. Do men not see that these women are just using them for free, drinks, cover or otherwise. They are not interested in you but more so whats in your pants, and no its not what you think. I have been around friends who walk into a club and bat their eyelashes and legs at the men who are sitting in the VIP section waiting for them to invite them up.

As for me, I will opt to go to a low key bar such as the Green Eye Lounge, Estelles, Evil Olive, or any local bar in Lincoln Park. I would rather opt for ,for my jeans, gym shoes, wife-beater, and ponytail. Im all about comfort maybe its because I don’t have the time to sit there and obsess over my looks or which guy is going to buy me a drink.

So High Maintenance Vs Low Maintenance . Who wins?

Hes Just not that into you!

So, I am not going to lie, getting back into the dating scene after being in a committed relationship for 12 years has been anything but a bed of roses. It has been a roller-coaster ride full of confusion, tears, wasted time and did I say confusion? My biggest issue and question was how do you know if a guy is really into you?

Either

He’s not calling you

He’s not dating you

He’s not marrying you

He’s not introducing you to friends or family

He’s not making enough time for you

He’s not asking you out

I have spent countless amount of hours, days, tears, and time trying to figure this out; what went wrong over analyzing my thoughts and steps. It was only after speaking with other single women about their dating experiences is when I learned of a book titled he’s just , not that into you!, The no-excuses truth to understanding guys.

As I finished reading the last page , not only were my eyes forced open with a big dose of common sense but my heart was finally able to let go. Of the pain, self-doubt, low self esteem, heart break, regret. The words keep echoing in my head he was just not that into you!

Ladies i’m sure you have all been that certain point in you life where you are stuck on stupid, you know the type, the ones that say they will call you tomorrow and tomorrow never comes, do not introduce you to their family,have a lot of shit going on,are trying to get their lives together, who are trying to do the right thing for the both of you, the ones that are full of excuses. Well I am done with the excuses and ready to accept that some men are just not that into you.

Generally speaking I think its easy to get tied up in wanting the happily -ever- after but truth is, happily ever after is hidden far- far, away hidden between never-ever-land, and Cinderella’s castle. And that man, they all describe, the one with the perfect skin, perfect teeth, bulging biceps, and wonderful personality or as society likes to call him “Prince Charming is locked away in Rapunzel’s castle along with Mr. Right.

Mr wonderful is just another character in comic book! It’s time for strong, beautiful, intelligent women to stop putting up with his excuses and finally annihilate him. Its always good to be hit on the head with a book such as he’s just not that into you and be reminded that he’s just not that into you!

Its not because you are unattractive or not good enough but for the mere reason that he is just not that into you. So women stop wasting you time as I did, whether it was 3 months, 6 months, or even a year waiting for him to come-around because truth is he wont! Stop wasting your tears, words, thoughts, texts, calls, breath, and time on trying to figure it out. Get unstuck!

Phew that felt better!

FROM UFO’s, to Unidentified Rodents, OHare’s Airport never ceases to amaze me!

I am so glad that news organizations such as WGN are finally reporting on the recent rodent infestation at Chicago’s International Airport and on the New York Times article on the filthy goodies that are often times left in the seat back pockets of of airplanes.

So in rebuttal to the rebuttal on WGN’s and The Department of Aviation’s recent articles on the rodent infestation in one of the the terminals of O’Hare International Airport I have to side with WGN’s story. Working for major airline myself at Chicago’s O’Hare for over ten years I can attest to the fact that there is an infestation (and not just a rodent one).

Perhaps the infestation is a result of the airport loosing our field mascot, the Owl, or it may simply be a result of the daily trash left by passengers in the seat back pockets, lounges, and an counter tops these rodents are often seen scurrying along the walls, vents, and on the field.

What amazes me is that we as a general public are quick to blame the airlines, restaurants, and Department of Public Health when the blame should be put on them. There are big blue trash receptacles at each gate,lounge, and jet way, but for some reason people decide to leave their bags of goodies for others to clean up, including the mice.

Hanging with my furry friend that

They can close as many restaurants as they want when an infestation attacks but the underlying problem remains that people do not take pride in their airport or airplanes. With Chicago having the reputation as busiest airport and the worst in air traffic delays and cancellations on a daily basis the infestation is inevitable. Disgruntled passengers who are often left stranded or delayed for hours attack the airlines or the airport the only way they can, with filth and I am not just talking about their mouths!